I can’t tell you how many days in high school were spent staring at guys I knew I could never have. I remember one in particular. Imagine a blond surfer guy except without the Keanu Reeves accent. He was in my math class, and I’ve always disliked number crunching, so I was more distracted than ever. He was gorgeous! The kind of guy who lit up the room with his smile. I overheard him and his friends talking once about how he wasn’t going to homecoming with anyone. They couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t either, because he was so handsome. This of course led to fantasies that he was like me, and that he wasn’t going with a girl because he really wanted to go with a guy instead. Maybe even me? Then one day he caught me staring and said, loud enough for everyone to hear, “What are you, a faggot?” That pretty much killed my fantasy. Let’s hope Ben has better luck with his pretty boy. Oh, and to answer Surfer Boy’s question after all these years, yes, I am a faggot, and I’m goddamn proud of it!

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